The danger of secrets and chasing sex at cost of family

I am going to relate a short tale of a lesson I learned this week, it involves me chasing sex too much at the cost of my family and the lies necessary to make it happen.

I took a week off to come back to see my family and my sister who was in town, we had some plans for events.  I also had a women in the wings I would be having sex with (the milf/nurse).

From the get-go it required lies, because I would have to dip out of family dinners etc to go pounding.  Sitting here at the end, I realize how stupid I was for falling victim to this addictive desire.  I am close to my family, and to have to lie is a huge rarity, so what, so I could go hook up with an older woman who I shouldnt even be bothering with anyway.

What really hit home was I took my motorcycle out ‘for a ride’ but to go see the milf to pound, later my dad told me my sister was worried about me, that I was out gone so long but must have been ‘meditating’.  I was a bit crushed inside, she had this grand vision of me, and what the fuck was I doing?  LYING and fucking some women I shouldnt be involved with.

I could tell things about how the nurse told me how much I matter to her, how she cried (a very human thing I might add) at me leaving her for a while, or how sex with her is no holds barred…but wtf is the point?  I havent seen my sis in months, and my parents/dogs in a while either and I was lying to them to slam some pussy.

It was a dark reminder to me of how deep I had fallen.  The ‘relationship’ with the nurse is confusing, one-way and likely going to end bad (she either tries to trap and I bail, or she was using me all along) but my relationship with my family is real, and I was sacraficing it.

This is for myself and anyone reading it, PUA/MGTOW etc somewhat preach sex as the be all end all, but after a week of debauchery I look back on it and think ‘holy shit, I may never see some of my family again, and I was wasting these hours fucking some woman’

It is painful, but I am going to internalize how very secondary sex is to much more important things.