“Before I learned the art, a punch was just a punch, and a kick, just a kick.
After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick, no longer a kick.
Now that I understand the art, a punch is just a punch and a kick is just a kick.”
— Bruce Lee
I was talking to a friend of mine about girls (a practice I HIGHLY recommend, because regardless of if it seems ‘gay’ you learn so much by sharing your wins and losses – afterall this is how girls become so high level) and I mentioned to him I am not really angry at women anymore. Which I freely admit I was, simply look at the early posts here.
Prior to my awakening, a girl was ‘just a girl’, kind of dumb, kind of complicated but kind of simple, vain, I could be friends with her without ruining chances of a relationship, generally flaky, find one you like and get married and live happily ever after. They were mysterious as they were simple, they liked things like flowers and gifts (and a ‘real man’ would buy them these!) yet were mysterious as to why they liked those badboy types on occasion. Oh well, they were just misguided is all, they wanted a real knight in their life. I would be that knight, dutifully waiting for them to come to their senses. It was so sweet.
Birth by fire
My delusions of love, of commitment, of everything related to girls was used, abused, and I was left a substantial emotional wreck for about 6 months, and a mild wreck for about a year after that. I had done ‘everything’ right and I was fucked up for it. How was this fair, how was this right? What did I do wrong!?
‘What the fuck happened!?’ I asked myself every day, every minute at times. It really was this bad, it was this obsession because I was hurt so bad. Was I not a good enough guy? Maybe if I just acted nicer…maybe I just needed to ‘man up’, maybe I just needed to accept her and her treacherous slut ways. Wouldnt that be the ‘knight’ thing to do? It was so bad, there were times I was ready to move out with this girl, to play second fiddle while she finished lawyer school, I would get a job at a coffee house, it would be hard, but I would be with her, it would be so perfect. Yes, I had these disgusting thoughts.
I am very fortunate I was raised to be critical by my dad, and to not accept conventional wisdom. I dove into anything I could find about ‘what the fuck happened’, I came across a BPD board (borderline personality disorder) and …this is what this girl was like! The push pull, telling me how much she wanted me, how much she loved sex, how much we were going to do sexually, how she couldnt wait to see me…and week after week, holiday after holiday passed, and nothing. The push/pull was endlessly addicting, and thats why BPD people fuck up others so bad. You get the strength to walk away during the push phase, of them being mean, only to suddenly ‘sorry, I had a really bad day, I cant wait to see you again. I was imagining of going down on your last night…im such a bad girl arent i?’
Anyway, so I found this bpd board, people going through similar situations, and in a lot of cases way worse than me. Losing houses, getting divorced after 10 years, all their wealth split and confiscated, it was mind blowing to me. Weren’t girls supposed to be the ‘good’ ones? Werent guys just ‘evil rapists’? What the fuck was happening in this world where all these nice guys were playing by the rules…and losing!? Utterly losing! They were getting raped by their girl, and society writ-large. Wheels started turning. Maybe not everything was as it seemed.
The term bpd actually got me into the ‘manosphere’ because it seems nearly every guy who came here actually had run ins with bpd girls whether they realized it or not. I of course was looking up bpd stuff, but then came across key sites like ‘solvemygirlproblems’ ‘chateau hertiste’ and ‘rationale male’ all of which touch on bpd. Hmm, what is this, calling girls trite little manipulative sluts? Well thats not very nice of them, hmm, but this is pretty accurate what they are saying. That girls will rock your shit unless you are completely dialed. That ‘love’ does not really exist in any meaningful fashion because a girl will leave you for someone better if the opportunity is there. Well damn…that sure seemed right to me.
I dove HEAD FIRST into this shit. I read all the archives, I checked new posts religiously. Obviously they were hard into the PUA lifestyle, but damn if they werent right about a lot. ‘Living for myself’? Be a real man and the girls will actually like you better? Nice guys really do finish last?
It was mind blowing. I was swallowing the pile and saw that the world really was around me.
I was entering the ‘a girl was no longer a girl’ phase where I had been at for about the last year or more. These little sluts…they would ride the cock from 18 to 30 then settle down for a ‘nice guy’ who was spurned for his whole life and now only wanted for his money and not judging her on failing fertility and sinking looks. Woah, this goes back to those bpd males, they were the nice guys who got rocked by these whores!!! ‘Single moms’ were thought to be heroes, not because they were, but because it was part of feminist protocol where a ‘real man’ would take her used ass. ‘Rape’ gave women the power to have sex freely but blame the man if she regretted it. There was the emerging pattern of girls under about 25 being insanely slutty and hoped from guy to guy, only to 30+ want to ‘settle down’ and was done with the ‘experimenting’ stage of her life, and it made sense why – alpha fucks and beta bucks!
I understood things, things were connecting!
I even put things into practice, ‘no way this shit actually works, but ill try it’ I was dismissive, aggressive, standoffish, not ‘friends’ with girls. I made fun of them, I embraced saying ‘inappropriate’ things, I only had conversation related to sex with girls. What the fuck…all these girls want me now? There was a period where within a week I could have done an 18 year old and done a 40 year old, I am glad neither happened, but it was basically on until I pushed them off. Hookups came easily. I remember walking away from one girl trying to get me off telling her ‘this wasnt working’ and never seeing her again, wow, what a badass I had become!
In my mind there was all these connections, all these little signs. A girl could say this, or I say that which would lead to these predictable outcomes. I had my shit dialed, I had one girl sending me naked pics WHILE she had a boyfriend.
Body language, tone, word choice, all this shit mattered, and was very important. In general silence and distance was generally the right choice, with occasional bursts of sex-charged flirts and jokes. It defied logic, but not talking to girls made them want me even more. I even had tacit admitting to this by some girls text something like ‘you know when you ignore me it makes me want you even more’
I was this cold, cocky badass on the outside, but on the inside I was full of anger, of rage. These fucking feminists! Every new article from jizbelle and every fucking feminist argument was so clearly wrong, what the fuck was wrong with these people believing it? I wanted to slap the shit out of every girl I saw – but realized the white knight society that would take me down in a heart beat. Fools, didn’t they know the real enemy!?
I saw the game, I was winning the game! I had anger no one else understood it…but whatever at least I understood unlike everyone else barring this small online niche. I had this friend who is with this ugly ass girl who locks his life down, and he was telling me ‘girl advice’ I would laugh in his face, because he was in the old mindset that ‘girlfriend = winner single=loser’ oblivious to that his life was controlled by her, and I could have sex with girls just as easily (easier in fact since she controlled the flow)
But things started changing. I had this blinding light, this anger that burned away all delusion, and do not misunderstand, I am not going to say anger was bad, it was so critical to my growth, but eventually it was like ‘why I am still angry’? I understood the game. I could rage all I wanted, but it changed nothing. All that was productive was to share my experiences with those that would listen (like how I first became aware) and to the end I have succeeded at I know at least two guys in real life I had woken up to ‘the score’ we face. Our feminist society will kill itself, so that will ultimately fail. And my endless anger was hurting myself, I was scarring my heart, maybe raising my blood pressure.
I started blogging mainly to express my rage. If I did not fight feminism, I was complacent in it. It was great, I could write and write about the fucked up reality of females in our current society. I found out people who came from different backgrounds and we’re FINDING THE SAME THING. It was a collection of divergent thinkers, and we were arriving at the same conclusions, not this force-fed ‘knowledge’ society tells us about how bad it is to be a male and how sorry you should be about that.
For a while, my anger actually increased. We were outgunned, but we had facts and reality on our side. I would not give up until feminism had been taken down.
But…somewhere within the last 6-9 months my rage and anger had changed to understanding. Not at once certainly, there were times I thought I didn’t know what the fuck was happening, or that my anger came back, these fucking feminists!!! But the catharsis slowly continued on.
My friend for example would never get it until his girl left him, until then I would just gingerly smile about his ‘advice’, girls would cry about the wage gap – maybe I would even tell them a fact or two, but in the end these people were lost, simply smile I knew the matrix and they did not.
I met some great people, guys from the army, guys from other countries, all these interesting, varied experiences, but we all were coming to similar conclusions. Those who sought answers would find the truth, and it didnt matter the background except being fucked up by a girl or largely unsuccessful with girls and wondering why.
I feel it important to add at this point a short blurb about females, early on I was surprised to see girls in the manosphere, apparently ‘friendly’ to the cause. I was like ‘oh yeah, it is self evident of course they would help!’ I am not going to go into details here, but suffice to say I view girls in the manosphere more of ‘enemies of my enemies’ rather than allies. They have their own ego-driven agendas I have come to realize, that is fine, but it simply needs to be understood. Girls are attracted to the manosphere because of the attention they are given among other reasons, (as a quick aside, I find it very ironic the men who susposedly ‘get it’ but still give in to female attention whoring on blogs, CH’s comments are the worst in this regard) but again at its root understand they are temporarily ‘allies’ much like Russia was during ww2.
Anyway, perhaps you might see a bit of change just in that last paragraph, normally I might be like ‘those fucking traitorous spies! Fuck them!!!’ But its like…that is how they are. I understand that. It would be like being mad at gravity for being heavy – its just the way it is. Girls are using us, and we can use them to show not every girl falls for feminism.
I slowly understood girls were simple. Dating was simple. There were rules you had to be aware of, completely different then conventionally taught to us, but they were there. Girls liked things like power, status, aggression, anger, they liked being mistreated because it was drama to them, they liked talking shit, they liked trying to get a rise out of you. I didn’t make these rules, I just came to understand them. Gravity was heavy, I didnt make the rule, I just had to understand the rule.
I came to understand the game was rigged against males. The prize was often not worth the hunt. American girls by and large were obese, bitchy and self-entitled. It is easy to rationalize not bothering with them – the whole MGTOW movement. Regardless, I came to understand the ‘machine gunner’ approach to girls vs the ‘sniper’ because a single girl as the object of affection will ruin you. I could be back to square one after years of growth.
I realized I could not spill my heart out to girls. The more emotional I was, the more they disliked me. I had to be the hard, stoic badass. Well fine, I wanted to be that anyway. Society had been the one to lie and say females wanted ’emotional males’.
Nothing was complicated anymore. People say ‘girls are confusing/mysterious’ and I think, not in the slightest. You simply need to change how you view things, you are judging by the wrong metric. When a 24 year old girl divorces her ‘perfect’ husband everyone is confused, I’m not, she is still desirable and found some other better guy. I see guys hugging their girls in public and only think ‘that is shortening your time with her’, his misplaced protective instincts were making him look more pathetic. Girls gave me little beyond sex. Guys were smarter, more loyal and could have real conversations. Girls conversations were either to be non-existent or sexual charged, those were the new rules I was to except. I would assume dominating body posture, I would watch hers for signs of interest, and change pace when hers faltered. Most importantly I lived for me, not just for slamming some broad out, and it freed me from all the stupid obligations like wasting money on her when it did not to improve my chances.
EVERY girl I hooked up with beyond the first that started this whole thing…I didnt spend any money on, not a dime. My former self would have never understood this, or thought the girls I was with were ‘just the shallow ones’.
But I understood. All the rules, all the little games, the body language, the texts, it was complicated if you wanted it to be, but it was ultimately so simple. You had to play the right way if you wanted to win. If you did not want to play that was fine as well. But I knew, I had synthesized all the information and experience from my life. I had been playing the wrong game, or perhaps I had been playing the right game by the wrong rules, rules society purposely mis-feeds guys. It was simple, I knew the rules now. Confirmed by others and my own experience. I knew how things worked.
I had no reason to be mad anymore.
Afterall, a girl is just a girl.