I am plowing through a book called ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ and despite the cheeky title and the pretty abysmal first chapter of him throwing ‘fuck’ around tons, it actually gets pretty good, it talks about how our current society is in this massive nihilistic depression because we all think we ‘should’ be happy and see everyone else happy.
It is a pretty interesting book because he talks about how we need to pick virtues and goals to live by and something like ‘I want to be happy’ is a recipe for disaster because we CANNOT be happy all the time. This is like the NAWALT girl I doted on a bit a few days ago (she left to go travel, I see how AWALT she actually was, a girl who sopism did not allow her to realize the consequence of her actions).
I tried talking to AWALT girl about how you can’t chase happiness as the goal of life, she was legitimately confused why this couldn’t be the case. That was strike one. Strike two was later when she mentioned she had to take her birth control pills for her bf, strike 3 came not much after when she admitted she was a heroin addict before she saw the light.
Anyway, so we only have a set number ‘of fucks to give’ a day, and when we spend them on stupid shit – namely what people think, what we ‘should’ do, if that girl is going to text etc that is less thing we can spend on stuff that should matter. Often I waste WAY too much time with dumb bitching texting or not texting me. This is time and brain power not devoted to writing, thinking or anything else important.
The main thing in the book is to think about what SACRIFICE we are willing to endure, not the goal. Everyone wants a fancy car, a trip to the beach, but what is the sacrifice we are willing to pay? Working 5 years straight at a shitty job? Or with love, are we able to endure endless fucking games/heartbreak and lonely nights for love?
I am reminded of a bodybuilding quote ‘Everyone wants to be strong, no one wants to lift heavy weight’. Like AWALT girl if I worked out only because ‘it was fun’ I would have left a long time ago. There has to be virtue in our life that makes our decisions NOT based on if we feel good, or if it ‘makes us happy’. Life is not something where happiness is a normal state.