Regarding porn and nofap

Porn will fuck you up, and I am going to talk a little about it, the nofap movement, feminism, mgtow etc.  I have come across pretty hard on nofap in the past  and to be clear, the majority of my argument stemmed from that the ‘nofap movement’ was almost entirely based on a shaming movement and the only way to ‘be a man’ was to fuck girls.  Given that nofap was mostly a reddit movement, it was really weird the pua influences (that of ‘fucking girls’ = being a man) the were behind the scenes.

The mgtow movement was likewise destroyed by the incessant influence of focusing on girls (ironic).  Missing from both was the personal improvement aspect.  Mgotw sought to run from girls (bitching the whole time) and nofap sought to run to girls.

That being said, let’s get to porn and masturbation itself.  First, realize that there IS a porn conspiracy – meaning one company, owned very likely by a jew, that owns nearly all internet porn.  Giving away a very addictive thing FOR FREE.  Whats funny about that link, is I must have tripped some flag as various crypto YKWs come out of the woodwork to protest about porn not being bad, I give no proof and so on.

I admit I have had a problem with porn in the past, and the longer I am away from it the more damaging it is in retrospect.  It is insanely addictive, and despite my personal strong will I still find myself dragged back once in a while.  People who think it is innocuous, innocent etc are outright delusional.  The problems of porn are many, and its insane to think that seeing hot naked bodies every night is not messing up your ability to deal with reality.  I know a lot of ‘alpha’ish type guys who see no problem with endless porn, or the big fad these days is ‘girls doing porn’, chaterbate, or various cam sites.  How are you going to have a family or find a cute girl that even remotely compares when EVERY girl online has huge tits, a perfect ass that takes anything you put in it, can deepthroat everything and so on?  You cant.  Therefore, you won’t procreate.   (((Perfect.)))

Porn (and masturbation) blow out your dopamine receptors such that regular life truly starts to ‘lack that edge’ meaning it is boring, routine, and sucks.  It is easy to get stuck in an endless personal decline that mirrors society in that ‘real life’ sucks so you medicate yourself with porn, drugs and escapism. In your personal life you should strive to be completely porn free, and for most guys that means nearly or completely masturbation free.

Some guys will say ‘how the hell can you go without porn or masturbation?’  Well, here is a personal anecdote: I never had masturbated or seen porn until my early 20s (religious shame mostly) and while that may be hard to believe, try to give me the benefit of the doubt as I admit later I became addicted to it.  The first time I ever sat down to watch a porn, I did it mostly as a curiosity, it was driven by some post I read about how big of things girls can stick in themselves, it was a little deprave admittedly, but it mostly driven by curiosity to ‘see what it was like’. It was so intense I orgasmed without even needing to touch myself, that perhaps should have been a warning of its potency.

It set me off on a dark path on mgtow-ism, pua random girl fucking, and in general a nihilism that didn’t exist in my late teens, early 20s.  I am not blaming porn for all of this, but it is certainly a contributor.  I noticed my own cardio was worse the more I watched it and so on.  Keep in mind, I watched at most like 1/night but was typically like 3-4 times a week at my worst, so certainly on the lower end but I still felt like it was subtly fucking me up as much as I wanted to rationalize it away.

There is a CIA concept called ‘sliding’ or ‘sleding’ which essentially is that if people start getting close to some dark truth, certain words will trigger responses in that person, or people around you to ‘slide’ off that conversation path.  Some of the most obvious are if you mention jews, anything with racist overtones and so on. Here is a humorous example of this: https://youtu.be/ejvjQ7LWW4w?t=4m34s

then skip forward to 6:12ish.

Regardless, porn also intensifies and outright creates fetishes, I think this is why gays, anal sex and so on are becoming so much more the norm.  We start with something vanilla, then we want more, more intensity, more curiosity, then suddenly we are watching people get tied up, or killed, or multiple gangbangs etc.  Keep in mind anal sex was viewed as a taboo (after all its dangerous and not procreative) yet very few guys or even girls would think its ‘weird’ to do, rather you see all this ‘ass eating’/fart smelling degeneracy everywhere.

Anyway, this has been pretty long, but if you are like most guys, try to reduce your masturbation and porn as much as you can.  Dont say you will ‘never do it again’ as you will fail and relapse, try for realistic goals like 1/week or a couple times a month, that way you see actually progress.  Again, from personal experience even though I occasionally still fail my distance from it makes it easier to stay away, and each relapse feels like such shit it doubles my efforts to go longer without it.

Do this FOR YOURSELF.  Not so you get a gf, not so you get laid or whatever.  Do it so your dopamine receptors can heal and you can enjoy life again instead of being medicated against your will.

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The most elite cavalry in history: The Hussars

I almost almost 100% Polish, an ancestry I am very proud of.  For some reason in USA polish has somewhat of a bad opinion.  Maybe that is my cult marx schooling.  The more I learned on my own the more I realized how badass the Polish have been.

http://www.returnofkings.com/64390/3-men-who-saved-the-west

“In 1683 AD, The Ottoman Turks were staging a massive assault on Vienna, a major strategic point which, if taken, would leave the doors of Europe wide open for Islamic domination. Again Western forces were severely outnumbered. A coalition of Germanic nobles, The Holy Roman Empire, and the Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth, were up against 300,000 Islamic invaders.

The fortifications of Vienna were the strongest and most advanced for their time, with hundreds of state-of-the-art cannons placed strategically across the walls. Turkish sappers dug tunnels under the walls and placed kegs of black powder in key areas.

For two months Vienna was cut off and starved. The walls were being blown to pieces and food supplies were non-existent. Just when the city was about to fall, 80,000 of Europe’s finest, under the command of King Sobieski, came to Vienna’s defense. King Sobieski, a tactical genius, had roughly 60,000 infantry men fight earlier in the day.

Then after hours of fighting, the Turks were worn and tired. King Sobieski then led the largest calvary charge in history. All at once 20,000 horsemen charged downhill at the exhausted Turks. At the front of the charge were 3,000 Polish Hussars; the most well trained, best equipped, badass, heavy calvary ever.

The result was a bloodbath. Not until modern immigration policy has the Islamic world ever tried to invade the West at such a scale.”

In WW2 the much lauded Royal Airforce was in fact heavily staffed by polish fighter pilot exiles.  In fact in the battle of britian want to take a guess what unit got a MAJORITY of the kills?  The Polish one.

My recent experience with a NAWALT (unironic)

Any of my long time readers know I came redpill out of the anti-feminist/pua movement, I’ve banged my share of girls but in general are very distrustful, and a degree of misogyny given how shitty modern women are.  Imagine my surprise meeting a ‘not all women are like that’ and that’s not being coy.

I was set up on a pseudo date by a friend of a friend sort of thing.  I wasn’t expecting much but we took a walk and I was surprised by how open-minded she was (she’s 22) about some heavy philosophical concepts.  It is extremely important to note that she grew up in a very small town, and after graduating high school LEFT the usa to go travel and scuba dive for money.  Yes, I know the prediction is a hyper lib girl that slept her way across the globe.

The thing that blew my mind was how easy the conversation was.  We shared our stories, her of traveling the world, mine of my own travels and insights into life.  And you know what was so interesting and novel?  SHE LISTENED.  There wasn’t the issue of nearly every modern female who is incredible sophist, vapid and narcissistic.  Where they feel the need to one up legitimate stories with some pathetic story that is neither related nor equivalent in level of epicness.

She showed a DEFERENCE to my experiences, my stories, my wisdom. I really needed this as a reminder to myself that I actually know what the fuck is going on in this world, and having stupid bitches judge me is not an accurate metric of my intellect.

After the walk, she invited me later to dinner at her house.  She cooked a great meal and we had a conversation at the dinner table for 4 hours about philosophy, reality, and things like that.  She was young, didn’t know nearly the stuff I did, but she had an earnestness and a desire to learn.

No, I didn’t bang her, but intellectually it was so fun and novel for once.  I had told her it was refreshing, because a true conversation requires BOTH people to possess a level of humility that they indeed could be wrong (therefore open to a new idea) and a willingness to learn.

Anyway, it was a great conversation/ ‘date’. I think the real take away are there are great girls out there still, really rare, and the fact she escaped the college indoc. camp is especially notable.

whenyougethatefromlevvyyouknowyourdoing_10d479fc3c691150357e8e16101675c8

Th depravity of younger generations

I recently was on a date with a younger girl, she was I think 22, to society she appears a cute little NICE GIRL.  I was surprised by how utterly deprave she was, and I know this is pretty typical given my experience with other young women who openly talk to strangers (me) about sleeping with guys to get items, entrance to places, money, or just fill the void in themselves.

This girl admitted to me she was a ‘submissive’ and before I get into that, somehow justified her ‘taking control’ until the sexual encounter at which point she would let go.  The first BPD girl I was with who broke my heart was the same way – at the time my blue pill self seemed ‘oh what a big strong girl!” now I see how psychologically unstable it is.

She said she would shut guys down until she was ready, when I said this didn’t seem submissive she didn’t see a problem with it.  (Clearly the date wasnt going good if it was interview time, I realized that)

The debauchery she engaged in started with her admitting she was bi – is there any young women these days NOT bi anymore?  The details were disturbing how she likes to be tied up, abused, choked, beaten, gagged. Told what to do ‘I love it when guys shove me to the floor and tell me to suck their cock’.  Engaged in all sorts of 3-ways.  Liked being spanked to orgasm etc.

The real point of all this though, isn’t that this is just some random dirty whore, this is nearly ALL young women.  That cute waitress playing coy?  That nurse at the hospital?  ALL of them want acts more deprave than most normal men able comfortable giving.  I have had conversations with guys confirming these facts.

Why do women want to be degraded?  I have no idea but its disturbing.

The rise of nationalism

I must admit about 2-3 years ago I was not sure there was any hope for getting out of the liberal sewer we were all getting drug down, too many faggy ‘triggered’, minority loving emotional arguments that ANY dissension against was viewed as racist/’stupid’ etc.  Honestly, they could have kept the status quo going and there would have been no problem, but the recent missteps have backfired so bad the rise of nationalism and backdoor racism have hit a critical point that has given me renewed hope.

Take Europe, the horde of muslims that are raping and bombing their way across the country simply adds fuel to EVERY ultra right wing/nationalist ideology while painting liberalism as a failed thought process.

Trump in our country could be an inside candidate, at this point I doubt it as he has unleashed far too much hate and ‘real talk’ that never should have seen the light of day.  Too many people say ‘yeah, we REALLY should boot out the mexicans/muzz etc’

It is really coming to a head, its great.

ek43

Eradicating neediness and desperation from our souls

A criticism leveled at MGTOW is that they are ‘basement dwelling virgins’ – as if any of those are really that big of a deal, and forget that the major point is simply accepting the stacked deck against us and proceeding from there to improve ourselves, the topic for today is about neediness in our hearts, and the desperation that infects us.

I have learned a lot during my 3-4 years of red pill knowledge and practice, I grew a lot, and have really learned what the game is, but even now I still fall victim to neediness.  In a way, true MGTOW are ironically more susceptible to neediness in that if they ever find a legit girl in the trash it becomes easier to obsess and WANT her because of her rarity.

I have a women I have hooked up with a few times, it was sporadic, but generally fun as she was not inhibited.  But as of recent, she started giving me more attention and increasing contact.  I was surprised in myself, that being hardened off the BPD girl years ago I ‘knew’ the games and what to expect, but I still YEARNED for the attention.  I wanted her next texts, her next calls.  I knew it was wrong, and that I ‘shouldn’t’ but the best I could do was silently stew and resist calling/texting back.  This is not a tale of how badass I am, as this is never what this blog has been so much as it is my own travels down this road of unfulfillment trying to be better.

The women has a pretty cool job, she is on a medical helicopter crew that rescues people.  A major problem in our minds is we like to exaggerate and build up how great/cool our interest is.  Unfortunately, she hit a few that caused me problems, being a nurse there was the whole fetish aspect mixed with that nurses are supposed to be hot and caring, then she rode helicopters – which I long had a fascination with aircraft and almost joined military – and lastly did rescues, which was my life for many, many years.

But here is where the learning point is for myself and another else reading this, her job in a lot of ways was PERFECT fuel for my building her up in my mind ‘wow so badass, everyone turns to her, she is riding around in the air saving people’ etc etc, even now I feel this (and I don’t want to tear her down, as I actually enjoy her, I am only expressing thoughts) but my logical part of my brain tells me ‘you gave a shit about air flight crews before she got on radar’ which is a huge key to the whole puzzle.  It’s oneitis-like symptoms.  When I see a different helicopter do I care about THOSE people?  No.  Only the fantasy they represent.

Fast forward a bit, I just got back from a 2 day tryst with her at a resort, this was after about a month of furtive 1-2 texts or calls a week.  As a warning to guys out there, this is the magic number that really fucks you up, as if it is even lower, say 1/month most guys will typically get the clue and move on, every day and you either got that girl or you dislike her.  But this intermittent reinforcement is enough that we start to withdraw right as we get pulled back.  This mixed with the fetish fuel and long hours to think it was easy to become ‘obsessed’ and think of her more than I should.

Then the thoughts always become self-defeating ‘I bet shes doing something cool’ ‘I ain’t doing anything cool’ ‘does she like me?’ ‘why does she like me? she shouldn’t like me’, it will fuck you up on multiple levels, make you criticize yourself endlessly.  The only thing that really helps is other girls, for a while I was chasing a different girl – who was a closet feminist and worst ‘date’ I’d ever been on – which helped me forget.

Despite my own internal drama, I generally kept it cool on the outside, which is what PUA/MGTOW always espouses.  Here was the statements that brought a lot of this home, and remember I am partly caught up on this girl, I see helicopters in other cities and it starts a bad cycle of ‘wow I bet they are doing something cooler’ or ‘She is so cool, why does she like me?’ but she told me that following: she thinks of me a lot, is attracted to my lack of neediness, and is always wondering what I am doing or going.

I contained my laugh, because at the least my neediness did not show, I played it cool.  But here is what also hit me, here was this women I was slightly losing my mind over, thinking so cool of job/life and….SHE WAS THINKING OF ME.

I had built up this massive illusion in my mind, massive self-deprecation along the way, and all it was, was wrong.  I realized I built up this impossible dream, lifting a person into a godlike perfection and it took the fact that Ms.Godlike was thinking of a peon like me to realize it was an illusion I had ascribed her to.  I could tell some others this story and they would shrug their shoulders and not give a shit she flies a helicopter and comes in with night vision goggles to save the day – and that is how I should be if I didn’t have mild obsession.  It was a slap to my face to see that her unassailable fantasy I made up was not that perfect because she wondered what Road Warrior me was up to across the deserts.  I was the badass the girl wondered about…IF I WOULD ONLY BELIEVE IT MYSELF.

^This is kind of like that I didn’t care about that career before her, just like if a commenter told me his perfect girl was a race car driver, or firearm instructor or whatever, its generally IRRELEVANT or red flag-y, I would simple say ‘that’s kind of cool’ but when we do that we start to crush on their attributes rather than the person.  It becomes a caricature, ‘race car driver, hot, hikes’ and it takes a life of its own.  We create these perfect fantasies where ‘if she likes hiking she must like animals, and if she is that caring she must love giving blow jobs, and oh I bet she loves getting fucked from behind, and maybe she will teach me how to drive…’ and then each fast car you see becomes a reminder of ‘Wow Janet could drive that thing really fast I bet…I wonder if I have a chance with her…’

Understanding girls, and in contrast our own mental processes in a quest few take on.  The road is not short, it is not easy, and failures are common, even 4 years in with rotating girls I still struggle with things like neediness or masking desperation but it is a work in progress and I try to grow as much as I can.

This is kind of a personal post so let me know any of your own stories or reactions to what I just said.

Morality and Libertarianism Idiocy

I find libertarianism an intellectually insulting ideology, its proponents often have preverse ‘moralities’ and justify a rampant selfishness under a bourgeois elitism masquerading as intellect; it is the type of movement that capture people that question the dominate narrative, funneling them into a movement even more supporting of the current paradigm.  Ironic.

To be clear, I consider myself somewhat of an ammoralist/pragmatist in that conventional morality is more of a control mechanism than anything good someone should subscribe too, that being said, I understand what is ‘good’ or ‘evil’ or what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but merely chose to not engage in it (Beyond good and evil!) , whereas Libertarianism suffer for a dangerous self-deception that their ‘morality’ is ‘right/good’.

I’ve talked about some key Libertarianism ideals such as the myth of natural rights, but at its root their major belief is a type of ‘live and let live’ with a heavy capitalism bend to it, then money is intrinsically ‘good’.  Now, beyond the fact that any ideology worships money (how easy does the movement betray its jewish origins…) isn’t particularly adapted to life beyond the narrow capitalism bubble, it leaves the person very unable to process reality in any meaningful real way.

I have talked to a lot of libertarians, and they universally come from one of two paths: former military or lawyers, which despite the vast differences, I think it because they both elevate their own opinions far beyond everyone else around them.  I seriously haven’t met a lib. who wasn’t one of these two.  Anyway the supposed superiority is why they are lured to the movement.

The real question to ask oneself, is if they were so superior, would they NEED to justify it, or be ‘moral’ about it?  If you were the badest guy around you would just MAKE your kingdom, take what you want etc, what Libertarianism is, is a way for weak-bodied intellectuals to justify this magical kingdom where they alone get the rewards for HARD WORK without actually having to do…you know anything hard that makes you a MAN.  You can see this in their ‘golden rule’ of “do no harm to others” which is about the only rule they have.

I have argued at length with the utter stupidity where I have had them argue to me that it was ‘wrong’ for me to take an apple from a land owner that owns all the land around me because that was stealing, whereas it was somehow justified that he got all that land stealing it ‘legally’.  “Why is it ok he stole everything from me in business, and I can’t hit him or steal it back from him?”  I ask, but the question gets routed to a circular logic loop of that ‘business equals good, and do no harm (of which business is incapable of)’.  I was told that if I had a problem I should solve it through court.  Through COURT!  What a bourgeois conception of reality, it is inconceivable that violence is the ultimate answer one way or another, and to not want to elevate the lawyer class to even higher demigod-status is unthinkable in their worldview.

This is where the cowardice and ultimately its ‘morality’ is rooted in, it is afraid of violence, and its proponents want to eliminate the great equalizer FROM the equation, with the implication they think they will be able to thrive in this narrow confine.  It is kind of like playing a game and modifying the rules to benefit only you, to shore up your weakness.

Libertarians have espoused some pretty insane things to me, and I have asked others about these ideas and they tend to agree with them, one that comes to mind is that the government should basically be dismantled short of national defense, “including no roads?” I asked, yes, roads should be PRIVATE.  When I try to point out that roads serve a national interest, this holds no sway because if they were important the ‘market will see to it they are built’.  To them the market is literally a god-like entity.

The truly biggest problem is you are deceiving yourself.  Instead of just telling themselves they want to subjugate or take advantage of people, they lie that it is ‘fair’ in some sort of edited capitalism.  It’s similar to pre-pill men telling themselves they want to be friends with a hot girl, when in reality they just want to fuck her.  If lib. holds ANY sway for you, you need to think why this is, the game we find ourselves in is so fucked and corrupt that any ‘movement’ given to us has to be regarded with intense skepticism, and it’s a controlled opposition anyway, one that those with the money will continue to stay in power as the only equalizing of violence is completely outlawed.

I like this quote the best to sum this up:ek37