Unfortunately I am in a bad spot in my life. I am crushed by depression right now, I am realizing how much of my life has been a lie, how much I have lived for others, how much of a void is in my soul. Is it shocking, disgusting, overwhelming and I feel like crying multiple times a day. I can barely see my ‘good’ traits and it is nothing except how much of a loser I am, how there is nothing enjoyable in my days. It is shocking how powerful this is.
I honestly do not know what to do as this has been going on for a while. It doesnt help the nurse is back in the picture and wants to meet this weekend, which I KNOW i shouldnt but my sad/weak states wants SOMEONE to love me as fucked up as I am.
Im messed up, idk how I will get out of this.