Patterns of subtle emotional abuse from women NPD/BPD

For any long readers of my blog the thing that started this was me recovering from a BPD girl, which is the case of a lot of red pill / manosphere types, but it is a pattern a LOT of women exhibit.  I am reminded because I became aware of this recently with a new girl.

For new readers or guys struggling with BPD/NPD here are some basics:

*Fast Connection – You feel like you’ve known this person forever, rapidly open up to them

*Push /Pull – This is a HUGE one, they are cold days/weeks then suddenly they miss you deeply, love you etc etc.  It is a very dangerous pattern.

* INTENSE – This is part of push/pull about where things will be super fast, you will be having sex within a week, having sex daily, it will seem perfect

*Lack of empathy – This will be highly camouflaged but the truth

*Selfish – All about her

I am not sure why I apparently am occasionally attracted to these girls, maybe how fast the sex is suddenly flowing and how real/intense it seems amidst the drudgery of life.  It becomes addictive that this feels so ‘real’ that everything else fades away and all you think about it her.

I’d be caught up on this milf for a long time, longer than I should have, and it had been fucking with me for a while, I had been re-living patterns of about 4 years ago with the BPD girl.  I was clinging to the occasional contact, the intense feeling, the ‘love’.  I knew it was bad, but I still proceeded forward.

I begun to doubt myself (this happens all the time with these types, you think you are the crazy one), maybe I should just be tougher, maybe not give a shit, but they are crafty.  Its a perfect balance of silence for a while then suddenly a little gift for you, or some heartfelt apology and it feels all normal again.

I saw my milf this week, it was a trip long in the planing, I found out she is married – which she never told me – I don’t espeically care about the morality of her choice but never being told hurts.  She didn’t even mention I had to drag it out to find out the husband sitll lives at home.  Again its hard when she is taking your cock with reckless abadon to think you need to get out of there.

I wanted to be nice to her since her friend recently died, but part of my mind wanted/needed to ‘break up’ with her, but I didn’t.  However I did talk to her about my concerns, but she dismissed all of them, especially with pseudo-ultimatums ‘if this is too hard you can leave me just because my friend died’ ‘if you want to be done just because im at the lowest point in my life go ahead’.

Anyway the next day I was pretty pissed at her, she didn’t get it at all.  I was in a sobering rage and working out hard/ reading.  Then a knock at my hotel – she had come in a complete surprise to my room.  We had sex but it was different, I felt distance because she did not want to listen to me, my problems were meaningless and it was her making the sacrafices.

I felt bad for her honestly, she even dumped down ‘I love you’ on me, only words but maybe meaning something. She was saying to ‘not forget her’ when I left, and ‘remember this is real between us’, in a way I see the desperation for what it is, and my empathy feels bad for a fellow human.

She called me 3x the next day, leaving messages about she wouldnt call for a week, but then got a call from her the very next day, I stupidly answered and it was more of the same ‘miss you miss you!’ ‘please dont forget me’.  I told her ‘a few days in the desert will sober me up i’ll forget about women’.

Its weird, I know she has done emotional damage to me because I questioned myself, most of the things we talked about were how my activities were dumb, but how cool of things she had recently done.  Its hard with her being medevac trauma nurse because there is SOME legitimacy to her stories, but it pisses me the fuck off so bad when all it is, is ‘oh saved some motorcyclist today’ ‘oh had to land on the mountain and save a guy today’ ‘im one of 9 nurses who are qualified to transport this guy’.  Ugh, just thinking of the bragging pisses me the fuck off so bad.

Anger is SOBERING, as a man you absolutely need to embrace you anger, it will burn away so much illusion.  Anger wants to crush that which is stopping you, when you are in a hole the only thing you can do is keep climbing.  I am not sure what is next in this fucked up tale, but things have changed as the perfection is long gone, and while a night of sex made us ‘closer’ with her insistence of love the pure aggravation and drama is wearing very thin on me.  Only her ‘coolness’/’elite-ness’ is at all keeping her around, my fantasy of her being this badass the whole city looks to, to save the day is one final illusion I must utterly burn away but it is hard as its rooted in some fact.

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24 thoughts on “Patterns of subtle emotional abuse from women NPD/BPD

  1. Pingback: Patterns of subtle emotional abuse from women NPD/BPD | Manosphere.com

  2. You are codependent and she is a narcissist.
    As a codependent, awareness and therapy will work for you; and cutting the narcissist out of your life because they never recover.
    I recommend to you the rawness blog.

  3. just curious, since I guess you are a white nationalist, what do you think of this?

    http://arebelsdiary.blogspot.com/2014/09/photo-action-against-isis.html

    do you think she is playing the “opposite” of the promise of virgins in heaven for suicide bombers? do you think she is getting other men to sacrifice themselves for “her” cause?

    haha, if I was a PUA, I guess the question is “would you bang?” I bet Roosh gets mad when womyn from his culture show their cootch…

      • hahaha,

        but then you couldn’t brag about nailing Roosh’s sister and, if you got her preggers–and in true feminista fashion she didn’t abort the baby…

        just think, you’d have a child that would be hated by WN’s, Jews, Arabs and almost everyone else-a big fuck you to multiculturalism if I do say s myself…

  4. There’s a lot of truth in hatred and anger. That’s why the USG likes to keep it all to themselves.

    ‘Elite’ is when you are good but can’t let anyone know about it. She gets the worship of the American public, just like all cops/doctors/soldiers.

    Last time I checked, they all work for money. They make more than most regular citizens. And you know they love the rush and the admiration they receive.

    The solution is to learn her job yourself. Being a flight nurse is easier than being a WN. Far easier. Spend a few years and it will be trivial for you.

  5. Wow, it has been a while since I’ve been here. Sorry to hear of your bad experience. 😦

    “I am not sure why I apparently am occasionally attracted to these girls, maybe how fast the sex is suddenly flowing and how real/intense it seems amidst the drudgery of life.”

    Most men are attracted to girls like that. It’s biology I’m sure. The broody, edgy, crazy chick is kind of like guy crack.

    • Just to add, reading Ryu’s post above, I definitely wouldn’t say being a flight nurse is easy (and he wouldn’t either if he were one), but I agree that if this is an avenue you are interested in, you should pursue it. The money is good and it really doesn’t take very long compared to something like medical school, and it’s easy to add on and become a nurse practitioner or anesthesiologist and they make about as much as doctors.

    • Liz…

      The comparison of “ease” was in the relationship between that which pays you and that which does not. It is easy to work for money. It is hard to work for “nothing.” No flight nurse EVER works for nothing and almost ALL wS will never get paid TO BE wS.

      • “The comparison of “ease” was in the relationship between that which pays you and that which does not. It is easy to work for money. It is hard to work for “nothing.”

        By that reasoning pay is inversely commensurate to salary. That means women work harder! And welfare recipients hardest of all…well, except looters, they actually create a path of destruction that creates a cost and they “work” for no money so they work hardest of all I guess.

      • FWIW, nurses do work gratis sometimes (or, some do). Doctors without borders would be an example, and a lot of states (Florida is one) request in the licensure renewal process that they volunteer for emergency contingencies. Lots and lots of nurses do volunteer work.

      • Liz…

        Flight nurse versus wS… One is done with expectations of being paid while the other is done with no paid expectations at all… That is Ryu’s “hard” versus “ease” comparison being made.

  6. EK…

    This is where the rubber hits the road… Where the desire for radical sexual autonomy presages a self-annihilation. If consistent uncertainty isn’t the hallmark of a break with reality then one simply accepts reality as fundamentally uncertain…

    But do not kid yourself… You understand your uncertainty to be ultimately destructive.

  7. Another one of 800 lb elephants in the room is the general childlessness of Neo’s Reaction and the alt-rite and its true effect in speeding head first into total oblivion.

    This, as I may speculate, is a childless tryst that obviously has no created barriers to absolute disintegration. In other words, having no children involved, none of the three participants have any true motivation to not go “head first into the wall” IF that is indeed where the feelings take you?

    When one has children, the idea of not getting one’s self killed jumps right to the forefront of the mind.

    Is this radical female autonomist “married” to a distant Alpha or cuckholded beta? Or a totally unpredictable Sigma? It makes a difference and is she hiding children? Men kill for things like this.

  8. I have been involved with one for 3 months. I am older and I have never seen her verbally attack me. I think she knows intuitively this will go bad. The question I have is this. I believe she has some awareness that relationships are damaging to her, so I suggested I see other people and she does and keep it casual. She says ok but then starts getting jealous. So I am plying her game but my worry is she could get violent at some point based on what I am seeing here.

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