How girls do things: The backup-bitch / BUB

Something many males fail to realize is the way girls operate in regards to social interactions potentially related to dating; namely that backup status girls naturally put about every guy into.  I present to you the ‘Backup Bitch’, or that chump who sticks around hopping to get something meanwhile being used potentially his whole life.

I wrote about this a bit a long time ago when I first started this ( but this is an idea a friend and I came up with.  The term is based off of an old videogame DOTA. In that game you each played one character and it was a 5v5, the purpose to take out the other team, backup bitch was someone who followed you around, and basically did all the work of of getting hurt and doing damage while you came in for the kill and the point.  Essentially the backup bitch sacrificed their fun and their ‘life’ for the person they were BUB to.

The way this is manifest in real life is related to the friendzone concept, that a girl well have here #1 that is is sexing or currently having under her as a slave, while maintaining a list of guys that COULD fill the role of #1 if that guy grows wild, grows unwanted etc.  The way this happens is so painfully obvious because of the various techniques girls use to keep the BUBs in place.  For example, if you start as friends with a girl and you try to ‘kick it up’ by asking for a date or something the inevitable response is ‘oh, i dont want to ruin our friendship’.  But think about this from a meta point of view, the guy is trying to rise out of his lowly rank, and the girl is losing control and power over this small world she has created, and must re-establish order.

In about 90% of interactions, likely higher the girl is throwing you into friendzone, and ANYTHING you do that suggests you want to rise in the ranks and try to get to that #1 spot will be met with increasing levels of resistance, afterall you are the backup bitch, you dont get the kill.

One example of backup bitch comes from another friend who told me he went up to a girl in the gym who they flirt with each other a lot, and he got her number.  All good thus far right?  The flirting and stuff continued later, all until he decided to ask her for a date, to which she replied ‘oh I have a boyfriend’.  So forgetting the ‘you stupid bitch why didnt you say something at the beginning!!!’ notice what went down here: the girl expanding her BUB list, and happily enjoying the flirting attention, but boy oh boy when that BUB decides to try to make something of himself the bombs start dropping.

On the other side of things, see you have some decent value as a guy, and the logistics are right that the girl actually sees you at times (because NEVER forgot how disposable a guy is to a girl, especially in the ego-stroke-a-thon age of facebook) and you as the high value guy are doing something other guys arent…you are ignoring her.  Or heaven forbid you start flirting with other girls, watch the vehicle of her heart change directions.  Suddenly she will be talking, initiating, laughing, twirling her hair, because damn it, this BUB is LEAVING!!!  The BUB doesnt leave and get kills on his own, he is supposed to be servile to her!  But like clockwork, you talk to her or something and suddenly the brakes come back on and she nearly instantly changes back to how she was before, because after all everything is normal again, the BUB has abandoned his escape.  The BUB is sorry.  BUB loved his master.


RIP Luna…

9 thoughts on “How girls do things: The backup-bitch / BUB

  1. I believe I said something similar in my own post on this topic, but I’ll repeat it here:

    “Friend” zone is a misnomer. A true friend would never treat you like this. These types of relationships are toxic and unfair, and if you’re the one being friendzoned with absolutely nothing to show for it…leave. after all, you’re not getting romance OR friendship!

      • I guess it’s different in the gaming community. I recently did a poll on my personal/real Facebook page about how many of my customers had “Platonic and Equal Friendships with the Opposite Sex”.

        I got responses from 58 guys and 9 girls. All 9 girls said they had at least 1 relationship like this, and 51 of the guys said they did.

        Five guys said they were too awkward around girls to be friends, and only 2 said they were “done with female friendships unless the girl is also a gamer.”

        Interesting, to say the least.

        • But Sophia you are missing the self delusion invovled with these people. The girls WANT these ‘platonic’ friendships because of the BUB they can always fall back on.

          The guys ‘want’ the ‘friendship’ because hell at least they have a shot at it!
          Put it this way: if you told a guy ‘there is absolutely 0% chance you will EVER have sex or get this girl’ most would not bother hanging around their BUB master.

          • I understand that. But these are guys who specified that these are actual friendships…not them trying to get a girlfriend. Some of the guys got extremely offended by my poll’s insinuation that men typically have female friends because they hope it will change. They informed me that they think of their female friends the same as their male friends and wouldn’t want the “baggage” of sex with them.

            I’m not saying that some (or even the majority) aren’t deluded. I’m just stating what I was told.

          • You can not be friends with someone you have even an inkling of desire, or potential desire for. Trying to is lying to yourself.

            Girls try to get away with ‘just being friends’ so much I even have a canned lines I unload “Friends? I got plenty of those. Not interested.”

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