If you are new, and any of the following thoughts have entered your mind (some of these are real search terms directed to my blog): “I give up on women” “women have it so much easier” “why does everyone hate males” “couldn’t give a shit about women’s needs” (< perhaps one of my favorite) then sit down for a spell, allow me to assist you in returning to a happy state of reality.
When I first started my blog about 6 months ago I certainly did not know the direction it would be taking, and I have found myself arriving at being one of the major voices for a growing movement – MGTOW or Men Going Their Own Way, an interesting mix of the MRA and the PUA movements, a hybrid different then both, that essentially has decided that modern women are not worthy of pursuing, and that happiness is NOT directed, derived, or in any way related to the existence of a female in your life.
It is unfortunate, but almost always any man who finds his way into MRA/PUA/MGTOW likely failed with women in one regard or another, I should change that to ‘fail’ because it might entirely not have been their fault, but at the end, the women and the man were no longer together. I would say 90% of males experience a loss or failing of some kind and they naturally ask ‘why?’ and are forced to drastically re-evaluate their world view. The other 10% are good friends with some guy that gets burned super bad, and decides ‘damn, he went down pretty hard, maybe I should listen to what he is saying’.
Essentially a male gets to MGTOW by one of two paths: a PUA who decides a life of one-night stands is getting nowhere, or a fleeced MRA who is tired of dealing with women in any capacity.
Path 1: The PUA who hates killing his heart
Almost always, men turn to PUA – pick up artist- style of blogs and advice after getting rocked. Essentially they conclude they can harden their heart, and pick up as many women as they dream and it will fill this hole the now-broken-former-idealist-who-once-believed-in-love has in his heart. After all whatever badass role model they have locked deep in their head, he gets with a lot of girls, maybe that is why he is so sad, he just isnt slamming enough girls out.
He reads about techniques, ‘peacocking’, ‘negging’, how to fake confidence, how to play number games…and the promise if you follow it: unlimited girls for the banging. He does it, maybe feels stupid at first, but if he keeps at it…well I’ll be, he is actually getting sex! But somewhere between one drunken blowjob or hoping he didn’t get a STD from that last girl he starts wondering ‘is there more to life than this’?
Pick up artist stuff works. Do not get me wrong. In fact it has a lot to teach the MGTOW, namely that confidence is key to interactions, and to not take women to serious. But what happens is the eventual MGTOW starts to realize any happiness he is getting from sex is ultimately short lived. He is defining his life – even if it is a life insulting women and acting badass- by the goal of getting sex from women. The future MGTOW decides ‘why the fuck would I want to waste time at a bar or texting or ‘gaming’ some bitch for a night of sex?
The near-complete MGTOW starts to conclude ‘well, I get more satisfaction from going to the gym’ or ‘completing my hobbies’ or ‘having fun without women’ and his transformation is practically done.
Path 2: The MRA who is tired of this shit
MRA come typically from a more economic background. The PUA path was primarily driven by emotion, you got left, your girl cheated on you etc. and you are emotionally hurt. The MRA typical has a much more substantial claim, and almost always from Divorce. Essentially they were married, and the women cheats, leaves, becomes intolerable etc and they split, and due to the unfairness of courts suddenly half his wealth is gone. HALF OF HIS LIFE’S WORK IS GONE.
The MRA thinks ‘what they fuck!? How is this close to fair? That bitch did shit, she didn’t even suck my dick now she gets half my money?’ Thus, you will see a LOT of blogsphere warning against marriage…for damn good reason because of what the MRA experienced first hand.
The MRA starts to realize how utterly fucked up the laws and courts and society are if you are male. The more he looks, the more he comes across things about how much Bipolar Disorder (which is about 85% female) destroys families, and how rare the male ever gets custody in child disputes. He sees that during a supposed domestic violence, the male goes away because ‘he is always the aggressor’
MRA are out there fighting the legal fight in any way they can. Eventually if they swap to MGTOW it is because they decide it is no longer worth it continuing in a system so rigged against them, and would rather live their own life.
What has been real fun about all this is finding out all various ‘genres’ of blogs out there. For example two of my first fellow bloggers are loosely MGTOW, not that they even use the word, but they talk about issues BEYOND women: http://gregariouswolf.wordpress.com/ and http://odinslounge.wordpress.com/ and http://cogitansiuvenis.blogspot.com/ .
Then there are are real/admitted MGTOW that are actively out there furthering the term and what it means, http://theobserverwatches.blogspot.com/ and http://whoism3.wordpress.com/ and http://stonerwithaboner.wordpress.com/.
Then there are the full on MRA like http://reyekomra.wordpress.com/ .
Then you have the women that actually understand or are at least sympathetic to our plight like my poster Liz and Sophia http://tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com/ and Darling http://darlingdoll82.wordpress.com/
MGTOW is NOT a hedonistic movement, although some may be, at its root, it ultimately might be best expressed as ‘I am living my own life…and I don’t need a women to do it’.