Countdown: 5 traits of a MAN #3 Confidence and Ability

Today- Confidence and Ability

#5 http://wp.me/p2YaVQ-8F -Physical Traits

#4 http://wp.me/p2YaVQ-9G – Discipline

A good calm look

Today I wanted to continue my list of the countdown of what makes a REAL MAN, not some fake pua, not some fake badass that skates by this thin veneer of civilization, but of a man that regardless of circumstances will dominate.  In case this needs to be spelled out, this is a type of man that can succeed in this joke of society, and in the event of a collapse is the type of man that will survive and thrive.

That brings us to #3 Confidence and Ability, I purposely put these two together.  First of all, what do ALL puas state is sooo important?  Confidence, ‘fake it till you make it’ etc.  I do not doubt this works up to a point in getting some women to have sex with but it does not make you a real man.  You need true confidence, knowing you are the best, knowing what you are capable of.  It would not help you survive.

This is why it is related to ability.  You actually have to be able to DO something.  For all intents it does not really matter the skill, whether you are the best damn mechanic around, or you are a really good runner, you are a sharpshooter etc. you can have a real confidence because you have something real you can show.

To elucidate, fake-confidence is not rooted in anything.  You wear a funny hat or have a cocky grin and proceed simply hoping no one really calls your bluff of the airs you put on.  Again, in our society such a strategy is less likely to get you killed because of laws etc.

I read a really good article somewhere that basically stated the reason why posturing and false-confidence works is because in a dog-eat-dog or survival situation when someone acted like that they were really called out for it, meaning fights possibly to the death.  So we have engrained triggers that ‘oh this guy is acting like a badass, and he is still alive, ergo he must REALLY BE A BADASS’  Which we know is not the case.

True confidence comes from that when its put-up-or-shut-up time you actually put up.  You say you are really damn good at running?  Well lets race and see what you got.  You say you are an expert sniper?  I got a good rifle and am a good shot, lets go bet some money on this and see whats up.

When you will really be able to tell is if a collapse or something happens and all these fake-alphas are suddenly shell-shocked and looking bleary eyed at the world wondering how they are suddenly going to survive.  That expert sniper?  He already knows…one trigger pull at a time like all the rest.

Ability precedes confidence.  You can be confident and not really have anything to show for it, but it is simply a delusion, because it has no solid base.  If you lack confidence, go get an ability, improve your skills.  Start working out hard, learn how to shoot, learn how to fix things, and within a year you will be a different man.  Confidence occurs naturally.  The real kind anyway.

If you ever need a guide on what would make a real MAN think about a man about 10,000 years ago.  Was he peacocking around to rack up notch counts on a bed?  No, he was running, fighting, surviving and fucking girls in complete AWE of his power and poise and combat ability.  In truth I would be surprised if back then a ‘smirk’ existed, a real man probably had a very grim countenance while spearing down animals.  But you could see it in his eyes, he knew what he was doing, and had the skills to back it up.  He was the type of man that would shame modern day men, and modern women would probably swoon over him.

I used this avatar before years ago on message boards, and I really like it because anime-style drawing tend to capture emotions better than actual faces.  Look how the eyes are a very ‘i dont give a fuck what you think’.  THAT is the feeling you must achieve.  Your abilities are so good no one can possible compare.  If anyone wants to come try it, well ‘lets go…’.  You are going to survive anything life throws at you, this pathetic male in front of you?  He doesn’t stand a chance.

I dont give a fuck what you think

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13 thoughts on “Countdown: 5 traits of a MAN #3 Confidence and Ability

  1. Well said!
    From my perspective, I’ve found there’s almost an inverse relationship between the amount a person brags about themselves and the actual brag-worthiness of said person. The guy who insists you call him doctor so and so (advanced liberal arts degreed!) most likely isn’t the chief pediatric surgeon, who will tell you his name is Bob and then you’ll be shocked to find out he’s the best surgeon in the state. And so on. Often true of wealth, too.

  2. Mm, it always annoys me when people pretend to be confident, when they’ve nothing real to back it up. If you’re going to act cocky, you’d better have the balls to match, or else you’re not truly deserving of respect. I’ve read a couple of PUA blogs, and I always find myself snorting because guys who try to ‘alpha’ into my pants are nearly always blocked by my interest in an actual conversation. If they’ve got nothing to back up their attitude, it’s a total turn off…better to be a quiet, honest guy than a showoff with no real skills.
    Or, you know, just have both. It isn’t that hard to be good at things and cocky about it too, and that’s kinda hot.
    P.S. It’s not just men though, girls have to be able to do things too, useful people are useless regardless of gender. Though it seems guys don’t mind relatively unpractical talents in women, men always seem to find it intensely impressive that I can jump into splits! XD

    • Heh, even I think it intensely impressive that you can jump into splits! 🙂

      I dont’ know. I think you can project confidence without boasting about yourself. Demonstrating a skill, or talking about yourself (in a non-arrogant way) isn’t boasting. To me boasting is a sign of insecurity. If you’re confident in your abilities, and really “don’t give a sh*t what anyone thinks” why would you boast about yourself to people? There’s only one reason, you’re trying to impress people, and that can always backfire, and usually does.

      Can’t count how many times I’ve seen someone giving unsolicited advice or a lecture to demonstrate their expertise to someone, and it backfired and made them look like a douche instead. “I know everything about planets, women really go for that, dude” (and they find out they’re talking to an astronaut), “I know it might sound scary to parasail, but really, once you’re as good as I am it’s a real high…” (and they find out they’re talking to a famous aerobatics pilot), “I’m the best guy at BFM in the whole airforce (and oops…they’re talking to the lead guy at the weapons school who wrote a book on BFM that’s in the vault, and he is also the new boss, great first impression).

  3. Honestly, I think a lot of guys will pretend to be interested in unpractical talents in women if they think it will help them garner favor with them. Men know that women crave attention.

    • Definitely, its painful watching guys dote on clothing choices or something. Ironically, the guys who spend LESS time listening to the women talk about her skills tend to do better with them.

  4. Sorry for the triple post, but just thinking further…sometimes people won’t believe even if it is true.
    I’m reminded of when my husband went to see a friend of ours a few years back, whom we knew back in college. They were at Hooters and the waitress asked what they did for a living. Our friend responded, “I’m a doctor and he’s a fighter pilot” (both true).
    Her response: “Sure you are”. Better to just make something up that’s funny, like Dolphin trainer or a member of the Blue Man Group.

  5. Pingback: Even good (?) intentions can be bad | Erudite Knight – On the search for truth

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