How women view themselves video…thoughts

Here is a vid I was given by somebody, it is worth a watch, it involves women describing themselves, to a fbi sketch artist, then others describing same women.

It actually is a really good lesson to see ourselves more positively.  But, two major problems I see with this, is I would like to see some males go through this (likely the same result) and then young/attractive females, sub 26 basically, I bet those might be different.

The results of this actually surprise me a bit, a male self-effacing is to be expected in this society that endlessly tells us how worthless and bad we are…but to see women?  Again, they are post-wall so I wonder if a bit more reality starts to leak in.

Interesting vid none the less.


19 thoughts on “How women view themselves video…thoughts

  1. Men are not under the same pressures to look good that women are. Being beautiful is just not something that is expected of men. I expect that men have body images that are in line with reality, you won’t get this result. Men are under pressure to preform and compete. Male self worth isn’t tied to cup size but wallet size. Men don’t suffer from “women’s issues” and women don’t suffer from “men’s issues”. Men and women are different with different pressures, expectations, valuations, and stigmas.

  2. I’m not under 26, so perhaps my generation was different (younger gen-xer here) but I was never as insecure about my appearance as I was in my teens and twenties.

  3. I’d agree with genderneutrallanguage…to a degree. While men are not held to the beauty standard as much as women are, they do still suffer from poor/good body image. With women it tends to be weight, breast size, hair, and “imperfections” like freckles. Men focus on their height, muscle mass, stomach size, and penis size.

    I admit that I don’t think I’m all that great looking, and I rate myself at a 4.5. However, I’ve been told by others, including my boyfriend, that I’m a 7.5. Each time I hear these compliments, I laugh to myself. As my grandparents always said…”If you were as hard on other people as you are on yourself, you wouldn’t have any friends.”

  4. yeah, the parody video is funny…

    also watched one of the video’s where a lady described as an event planner said that if one of her sorority sisters said she looked good, that would make her have a much better night…

    so this is all “anecdotal” but it leads to something I’ve been thinking for awhile-since most men compete against each other any kind of MRA movement is set up to fail-the high status men have far different interests than the low status men. In fact, they may be diametrically opposed. When I argued with marxist feminists (those who believe that men are the oppressors and women are the oppressed) I would often state that many things are actually based on class. IE a poor black man and a poor black woman might be in a more similar situation than a wealthy person of either color or gender, infact a poor white woman or man might be in a more similar situation. They fired back, we already have a term for that-it’s kyriarchy….

  5. Probably a post-wall thing. I doubt most girls between 18-22 are really all that insecure about their looks — not when they’re still getting plenty of attention from men, dates, dances, free dinners, sex on demand and all that. It’s only when they hit the first wall and they have to start competing with younger and prettier women that they start to feel anxious about their looks.

    • Actually, the vast majority of females are. In my school life, I noticed that it started around age 14 or so for most young women and continues on through college. You compare yourself to models and celebrities all the time…and so do the other kids. It’s a constant worry and system of degradation. Even if you are content with your looks, others (especially other girls) will badger you and say how pathetic you are.

      Is your hair too short? Too long? Too frizzy? Do your teeth stick out a little? Is your waist too full? Are you overweight or underweight? Should you wear makeup…and if you do, is it the RIGHT makeup? If you wear a short skirt, will the other girls call you a whore? If you wear a sundress, will the boys call you a prude? If your breast grow in too small or slowly, then you’re “not a real girl”…but if they grow in too big or quickly, then you’re an automatic whore and people will randomly grab them in the hallway.

      I’m not saying that guys don’t also go through this in a different way. But I grew up as a woman, so I figured I’d let you know that most of us are VERY anxious about our looks, even when others tell us we shouldn’t be. Are there some that are secure in their physical traits? Yes. But they are either the confident minority or (more likely) very good pretenders and actresses.

      • I’m in complete agreement.
        Even the most beautiful women are insecure about their appearance. Models and some of the most insecure women on the planet.

        • Precisely. There is a reason why 7 million girls/women suffer from eating and weight disorders, but only 1 million boys/men. Women are judged almost completely on their physical attractiveness…Is it any real wonder why some have internalized this to the point where they don’t think they need to grow up, be responsible, and have a pleasant personality? If society continuously treats you like an overgrown doll-child, then that’s how you will be. It takes a sharp mind to see that this is harmful to both sexes, and to refuse to play the game (at least til the rules are fair).

  6. Pingback: …gender differences via “oppressive beauty standards”… | stonerwithaboner

  7. I think there’s a big difference between how beautiful a woman thinks she is, and her confidence in attracting men. Generally girl in their teens and 20s don’t think they’re very pretty, but they know that guys will go for almost anybody above a certain baseline level of attractiveness, so long as that’s the only option for them. So rather than trying to become more beautiful, they’ll just hang out with unattractive girls when guys they’re interested in are around. It’s been documented to work, too – men’s judgement of attractiveness is partly based on comparison. For the same reason, girls don’t want to hang out with other girls who are prettier than them…so how to con them into it? Compliments and self deprecation.
    Thus from puberty girls learn to say nice things about other (less attractive) women, and put their own looks down.
    A side effect is that truly beautiful girls who don’t need to play games to look good never get complimented by women, and a few of those take it to heart and genuinely think they;re unattractive…it’s a lose-lose situation really, but that’s intrasexual competition for you!

    • Hey glad to see you back Clover. One part I disagree with though is your early statement ‘Generally girl in their teens and 20s don’t think they’re very pretty’
      This is when girls are their MOST attractive. Whether they consciously talk about how ugly they feel, they have to know it doesnt get better than this.

      • “…they have to know it doesn’t get better than this.”

        No. Without exaggerating, I can honestly say that they (we) DON’T know this. No offense EK, but you are a male…you did not grow up as a female. You can sympathize, judge and observe what it’s like from the outside, but you’ll never completely understand.

        It’s nothing against you, of course. Or any other men/boys for that matter! After all, *I* wasn’t raised as a male, so I can’t fully understand what that is like. But you (and some other guys) keep talking about how you “know” women feel about themselves…when you really have no way to.

        I’m not trying to be disagreeable or harsh, I’m just pointing this out.

        • No, not a chance. That is like someone telling you they dont think they will get old or die, no one THINKS they are going to get old or die, but deep down, everyone knows it. There is no way a girl at least subconsciously thinks she is going to be hotter at 40 than at 20, just like no guy thinks that he will be stronger in his 50s than his 20s.

          Do I think girls are delusional and dont realize guys will like them less as they age? Absolutely. Do I think girls are incapable of comprehending at least in the deepest part of their hearts that they get uglier as they get older? No.

          If you can honestly answer this affirmative let me know.

          • I know I’m going to die someday, and think about it at least once a month. Not to be morbid, no…just to remind myself to live my life to the fullest as much as possible, and to show my friends and family that I love them.

            As for thinking you’ll be better looking at 40 than 20…I can’t quite answer that yet. I will say that at my current 28 years I know I’m more attractive than when I was 16-18. I am no longer ultra skinny, I have full hips and breasts, I’m more confident and assertive in my needs and dislikes, I sit straighter, look everyone in the eye when speaking. So different than the 100 pound gangly wallflower girl with breasts that were too large!

            I guess my problem is that I have a hard time seeing ugliness in anybody. In my mind, wrinkles make you wise not decrepit…acne just means you need better soap…scars can happen to everybody…I will honestly say, no bullshit or exaggeration, that I’ve never seen an ugly person in my life. People I’m not attracted to? Certainly.

            But then again, I’m not attracted to Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio, or other “handsome” movie stars either. I find Robin Williams, Sean Connery and Errol Flynn FAR more attractive. Everybody has something beautiful about them…maybe I focus on those parts “too much”? I don’t know.

      • The thing is, the images we see of other 20-somethings are those of the extreme of female beauty. Runway models, porn stars, actresses and singers are all hotter than we are. So while at 30 you might know you’re not as hot as a younger woman, it’s easier to feel equal to your peers. At 20, I know the competition is intense. I’ve lost a lot of female friends because they don’t want me to meet their male friends/love interests. Girls try to move in social circles where they’re the most attractive, but what with higher education cramming them all together it gets a lot harder to be number one. At 30, or even 40, the number of women in (for example) a workplace is likely to be small enough that being ‘the prettiest’ isn’t hard, even if it’s not the most attractive the woman has been in her lifetime.
        I’d go into more detail, but I’m at work. You get my drift though, right?

      • Whether they believe it “doesn’t get any better” or not, that’s incidental to the way they view themselves. More often, they are hypercritical of themselves at the time, even if they know it isn’t going to improve. Similar hypothetical, I might think I’m as smart (wealthy, whatever) as I’ll ever be, but that doesn’t necessarily indicate that I think I’m smart or wealthy.

        Later, looking back, women often reflect that they wished they had known how good they looked back then. Furthermore, I maintain that most women ARE better looking in their mid to late 20s than earlier on. And it’s hardly the end of the line when one reaches her thirties. I think those types of beliefs are a self fulfilling prophesy. Almost every woman I know who lets themselves go does so because she thinks her time for looking good is over. “I’ve had babies”, “I’m over thirty”, et al.

        I agree with Clover’s point about aging cohorts as well.

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