[Any reader who has a story about how that first ‘got it’ or woke up, or whatever heartbreak forced you to truly look at reality I will post as a collection.]
Here is from reader Deti:
I grew up beta in much the same way as many manospherians describe. Dad was beta at home. Mom ruled the roost and wore the pants. Parents, pastors, teachers, everyone around me telling me to “be nice, be yourself” and girls will flock to you. Plagued with relationship failure peppered with the occasional success, but no one ever explaining what happened or why. I was never able to figure out how I was able to get some girls; and others were out of my reach. I was never able to figure out why some relationships worked and others didn’t. I could never say why girls’ attraction for me would fizzle out and I’d get friendzoned overnight.
I’m a political junkie and was reading the Wall Street Journal article Kay Hymowitz had written and published in March 2011, just about 2 years ago now. Hymowitz referred and linked to Roissy’s site. I clicked through, and began reading. Instantly I began to recognize myself as beta. The behavior patterns, the speech patois, the conduct, the female responses — it all started clicking. Suddenly, it all made sense. I was a textbook beta example. I had all the symptoms — scarcity mentality, lack of confidence, supplication, pedestalization, projection. And, well, I got pissed.
Everything I had been told about how men and women meet each other and how attraction works was absolutely 180 degrees opposite of the truth. My parents, pastors, teachers, and everyone else had not the slightest idea what they were talking about and lacked even a fundamental understanding of how female attraction works.
I realized that everything I had seen WAS correct.
I realized that women do not even know themselves what they are attracted to; or if they know what they’re attracted to, they either can’t articulate it meaningfully or are too ashamed to admit it.
I realized women lie about what they want and like — even to themselves.
I was able to go back over every past relationship and immediately pinpoint what went wrong, when and why.
The realization that a big, big part of your life for the first 42 years of your life was an abject, utter lie is sobering and depressing.
From there it grew exponentially. Modern nutrition is a lie, being based on grains and low fat.
Modern exercise physiology is a lie, focusing too much on cardio/aerobics and not enough on strength training.
Modern corporate life is a lie and permeated by feminism. It focuses on feminine methods of task management such as process and meetings and consensus building. It should focus on decisionmaking, decisiveness, getting the stuff done, and acting with boldness and resolve. It focuses too much on BS claims of harassment and not enough on building workplaces conducive to getting work done.
Modern marriage is a lie and is a raw deal for men. We all know about that score.
That’s pretty much my story.