The word ‘love’ and how its been co-opted

What is an interesting thing is this brave new world of dating dynamics (can you even still call it dating?) is that despite the propensity for girls being far more slutty they are more protective of the word ‘love’.  I talked about this a bit on a prior post (http://wp.me/p2YaVQ-3o) but I find it notably the aversion to the word ‘love’ and that somehow it confers often dim prospects to those that use the word.

Modern girl is an interesting species that you could slam her out (but some dont want the kissing!) run a real risk of getting a disease or getting her pregnant, but heaven forbid ever uttering the words ‘love’ even if it is not even about her.  ‘I sure loved dinner tonight’ can easily be interpreted as some insinuation of her.

What is unfortunate is that saying you love someone is a massive devaluation move on your part.  Thus we have all this ‘modern’ advice of never being the first to say it, wait for her etc.

A good way to illustrate this, is imagine a typical beta guy, doting endlessly over some hot girl.  She gives him occasional reinforcement like girls seem naturally wired to do to keep him hooked (http://wp.me/p2YaVQ-2o) he does everything ‘right’ and she still strings him along.  But one fine morning he wakes up to a text ‘I love you frank’, is this a joke?  She really does love me!?  Uhh, but wait…why does she love me…is she diseased,whats wrong with her?

Because for so long it was a goal, so upon getting it, suddenly one becomes sobered faster than ice water to the face.  In this example WHY would this girl suddenly like you so much?  If she likes me that much, she must not actually be worth much. It is related to wanting what we cant have, if we see we ‘won’ the game, our interest in it wanes.

It is really unfortunate that in this modern society emotion has been almost utterly eviscerated out of relationships.  Now they have become guarded pump and dumps, to which the girls cry about and the guys wish there was a girl that wasnt slutting around.

I love breathing, I love the taste of water,I love spicy food, but I learned never to say ‘love’ to a girl.

Sometimes best chained down

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6 thoughts on “The word ‘love’ and how its been co-opted

  1. Lots of reasons for this.

    1. Feminism, leading women to believe they can f*ck like men with no ill effects. Sorry ladies, men are more suited to promiscuity than you are.
    2. Instant gratification. If this guy no longer tingles her, she can easily get another.
    3. Narcissism and selfishness. Total devotion to no one and nothing but oneself. No understanding of anything larger than, outside or, or more important than oneself.

    The main reason he should wait for a girl to say “I love you” first is that she brings sex, he brings commitment. Love– real, abiding love — by definition connotes and requires the commitment of the one who loves to the one who is loved. Since the man is the gatekeeper to commitment, he should make sure she has some skin in the commitment game before he puts his in.

  2. Another thought occurred to me here.

    http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/a-reply-to-cadence-on-sex-commitment-and-spinning-plates/

    Here’s the estimable Badger on the very issue you’re talking about here. I’ve cited the pertinent money quote:

    “A generation of women have (or should have) learned that sex for commitment is an unsuccessful exchange strategy. Men by and large HAVE learned that commitment for sex is also a losing strategy (whether they find a new strategy is a matter of how long it takes them to find blogs like this one). It seems that more and more women are viewing a man offering commitment as a mark of the beta, a signal of neediness and lack of options. This is certainly the experience of the under-30 crowd; no matter how much women complain that guys don’t want to commit, it’s clear that they don’t want guys who will commit per se; they want the (attractive) guys (with options) who won’t commit to them to commit to them. It’s classic scarcity psychology…people want the thing that is held out as unavailable.

    The post-sexual revolution world is one in which sex is to be exchanged for sex, and commitment exchanged for commitment. No one, male or female, should EVER accept a lack of sexual reciprocation or reciprocation of commitment. But likewise, they should be wary of trying to trade one for the other. It’s simply an invitation to get played, one way or another, either as a bed-buddy or a chump. A related point is that it is critical a woman not assume that a man who goes to bed with her is marketing himself as a relationship partner.”

    You should read the entire piece. It’s excellent.

    Now, it’s sex for sex, and commitment for commitment. What these girls are doing is signaling they want NSA sex with the most attractive men they can snag; until they want commitment from the best kind of provider they can find.

  3. Love, even just the word, is so overused nowadays. To this very date, I can count on one hand the people I’ve actually TOLD “I love you” who weren’t family members. I find it morally reprehensible to just toss out such a powerful term.

      • You have my sympathies, EK. I remember that post…it was incredibly sad. I kinda define love as being willing to lay down your life for someone else…I have one very good friend who I’d do that for, as well as my lover. I would take a bullet for those 2 guys, no hesitation. Heck, there’s certain family members I wouldn’t do that for…

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