Happy new year, lets end this delusion as best we can

Happy New Year to everyone.  I spent all last night completely disconnected from anything electronic, it was a very good exercise in catharsis.  I have not arrived at any new answers, but my mind is much clearer for my direction in life, how I want to pursue life etc.

A delusion I want to talk about for today is the idea a lot of people, girls especially, but a lot of guys as well regarding hookups and sex.  In the short while I went the pua route (before I became disappointed with the emptiness I felt) I was pulling them in at a respectable rate, but what always surprised me was what these girls used to protect their egos.  My friend related a story to me this morning about a girl who would not kiss him but had no problem being fingered by him.  To me this is deeply fucked up, but not unusual.

I was clear in my own mind during these hookup, this was for experience only, I would take it to whatever end it came too.  I wanted to see if ‘hooking up’ was something I wanted to do after a life of celibacy ruined by a girl I will talk about some other time.

In guys minds the order is pretty simple: laying together/cuddling <kiss < groping < grinding (clothes on)< fingering her <hand job on you< oral on you< oral on her< penis in vagina<penis in ass

What I do not understand is how or why do girls justify these strange things?  I suspect it has to do with a desire for emotional disconnect.  ‘I dont like the guy, thats why I didn’t kiss him, who cares if his hand was in me?’  With one girl, she basically attacked me at her house, ripping her clothes off while pulling me into her bedroom.  What followed was literally like 4 hours or more of naked grinding, kissing, a good bj, fingering.  After it was clear we needed to go to sleep, I was thinking ‘well the least I could do would be to cuddle afterwards’, so I put my arm on her, “I dont want to cuddle, our hormones will cause us to bond together” ok, well then…I picked up my stuff and walked out at like 3am.  After all that happened, she did not want to ‘stoop’ to the lowest level of physical interaction.

I am not sure if it is hypocrisy, or cognitive distortion, or some sort of ego preservation but what compels girls that you can finger them to orgasm yet they dont want you touching their breasts or taking their shirt off?  ‘I dont want to give him the idea I am easy!’  Well congrats girl, you have done nothing to truly protect your emotions, and you gave the guy what he probably wanted in the first place.  All that is left with this lying to themselves is a legion of ‘born again virgins’ whose slutty past in their own mind is vastly underestimated.

Have a good year.

 

A good metaphor

 

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Happy new year, lets end this delusion as best we can

  1. I laugh any time I hear the term “born again virgin”. I’ve known a few girls who have made that claim, and they were all girls with really scummy pasts…who, eventually, went back to being scummy sluts. “Born again virgin” is a politically correct way of saying, “I’m taking a break from Alpha cock to find a guy who will pay for dinner.”

  2. “What I do not understand is how or why do girls justify these strange things? I suspect it has to do with a desire for emotional disconnect.”

    Yes, it is all about not connecting with the men these women hook up with.

    What a difference 25 years makes.

    I’m in my mid 40s, married for 15 years. I was in the singles scene until I got married in the mid 1990s and before then, did my share of the sex smorgasbord. I wasn’t one of the pretty horsies on the carousel that all the girls wanted to ride, but I got action now and then. I don’t condemn PUAs or men who have extramarital sex; just that it’s not for me.

    What I noticed in the 1980s and 90s was a willingness among women to hold off on sex until she found someone she wanted to bond with, precisely because she knew bonding would happen. Once she was ready to have sex, the floodgates opened.

    But I also noticed two divergent patterns. The women who bonded with me after sex fell hard. These were the women who would enthusiastically do anything with you. Then there were women who didn’t fall hard and stopped the sex. Back in the mid 90s, this was the group of women for whom oral sex was the pinnacle of sexual access. You knew she really was into you if she would fellate you. Often, she would do P in V, but not oral, because “blow jobs are degrading”.

    Interesting. In 1987, a woman went from cuddle/kissing/necking/groping/P in V/oral (maybe). She wants the bonding and expects it to happen. She treats it as a big deal because it is a big deal.

    In 2012, a woman goes from groping/oral/P in V, to maybe kissing, MAYBE. She’s actively avoiding bonding and doesn’t mind being degraded.

    • Thus the ‘progress’ of feminism.

      The irony is their hoisting of their own petard, the lack of bonding leads to their ‘where are all the nice guys’ and their NSA sex leads to them getting pounded by guys that dont care.

  3. In my experience, most seemingly inexplicable behaviors regarding that type of social interaction boil down to one of two things: Religion, or deep-seeded insecurity.

    You didn’t mention any magical underwear so I’ll throw the first out (I’ve also heard a few Catholic girls only do it up the ass because they won’t use birth control. Weird).

    EK said: “What compels girls that you can finger them to orgasm yet they dont want you touching their breasts or taking their shirt off? ‘I dont want to give him the idea I am easy!’”
    That one is easy. She either feels fat or is very self conscious about her breasts.

    The girl who wouldn’t cuddle? That’s her security blanket (self rationalization IS her security blanket). If she had any self-concept she wouldn’t be having sex with a virtual stranger in the first place. And she knows it.

    • Ha, tell that to about 95% of females today. The ability for girls to engage in one night stands has blown my mind. Then they have their different security preservation.
      ‘He didnt go ALL the way in, it wasnt real sex’

  4. “In guys minds the order is pretty simple: laying together/cuddling <kiss < groping < grinding (clothes on)< fingering her <hand job on you< oral on you< oral on her< penis in vagina<penis in ass"

    Huh. Is this a progression over one encounter, or over the course of getting to know each other sexually? Usually my FwB and I do:
    Groping< kissing< 69ing or taking turns< penis in vagina< more kissing while doing fingering + handjob< using anal toys on each other< penis in vagina/mouth< cuddling if I can handle it, quick hug if I can't. Of course, this is just how it usually goes…playing it by ear or mixing it up with different toys/themes can be fun too.

    Do most guys follow the other progression you detailed? If so, that would be good to know for future reference and expectations.

    • Oh yeah, I dont really mean that you do vaginal before ass, but that this is definitely the tier system. Thus why girls have the unwritten rule of BJ before sex (typically different days) but this is the general list, you just dont jump up huge steps.

      • Well, the whole tier system is a little new to me, given that I’ve only had 1 lover. But it’s good to know for when we’re not together anymore. (Just being realistic, not looking to replace him anytime soon.)

        • Here’s one for you…I guess your situation is different but in general a guy fingering a girl is almost a ‘victory’ like ‘i fingered that bitch’ I wonder if its the same bj for a guy as girl?

          • Maybe. I mean, I feel pretty powerful and awesome when I give a blowjob…especially since I’ve been told that (out of his other 12 partners) I’m the best since I actually enjoy it and making it last. 😉

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